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[11 Apr 2008|03:54am] |
Your lips echo a fluttering calm
A sweet whisper, a melodic ease
A harmonious cushion, a soothing song
An orchestrated beauty, a beautiful score
Your symphony plays a piece unheard
Complex, yet simple, a marvel to all
In ovation I stand, I praise “Bravo”
My heart thus sings for the composer unknown
Forever his, Forever his song
I can finally rest in the tune of his love.
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[19 Jan 2008|05:35pm] |
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Existence is meaning, one not understood; it has a purpose, yet none at all. What are these rules by which we live: mathematics at its finest? Everything perfectly planned. How simple life would be if I could calculate how my life will turn out, how it will end. Perhaps calculus can determine the slope or the magnitude of my parabolic being? That would surely eliminate the uncertainty factor, or would it? Things do occur because of the actions of other organisms, and who could predict that: the actions of trillions of organisms? Theoretically, then, life has to be the response, directly or indirectly, to the things around you. A man caught in rush-hour traffic late for work in New Zealand can indirectly cause me to have an asthma attack the next day. So, even if I could map out my life mathematically, uncertainty would still exist, changing everything. The calculus would be ever-changing. Well, maybe life is the interactions of direct and indirect responses of organisms that cause infinite uncertainty. I’m not even sure, does this even make sense?
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[17 Dec 2007|11:11am] |
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alors, c'est le fin du semestre et je suis tres contente!!!!!!mais beaucoup de choses survenaient. c'est la raison pour l'universite. pour apprendre les lessons tres important dans votre vie. j'apprendre qui sont mes amis vrai, le travaille que je veux faire apres le troisieme cycle...je suis advocat de commerce! je dois commencer etudier pour LSAT immediatement et je dois decider l'universite que je veux assister. je sens que je sois grandir plus age. Maintenant, je suis content avec ma vie, temps sont difficile, mais ces experiences me feront tres fort pour le futur.
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[03 Dec 2007|04:40pm] |
ONE SHOULD DIE!!!!
some should be happier
some should talk more
some should be more confident
some should learn to trust
some should appreciate life
some should relax a little more
some should worry about themselves and not others
some should drink more
some should drink less
some should buy mo lots of xmas gifts
some should come visit me more
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[07 Nov 2007|01:43pm] |
The glass fills
Bottle empties
The grief fades
Tears plunder
Depressing liquids
Solidify life
Though beckoning death
And bringing much joy
Inebriation
Sobers the heart
For reality's stupor
Intoxicates the the soul
Embrace addiction
A static constant
For life's dynamics
Overdoses with pain
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[25 Oct 2007|06:16pm] |
You Should Be an Artist
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You are incredibly creative, spontaneous, and unique.
No one can guess what you're going to do next, but it's usually something amazing.
You can't deal with routine, rules, or structure. You're easily bored.
As long as you are able to innovate and break the rules, you are extremely successful.
You do best when you:
- Can work by yourself
- Can express your personality in your work
You would also be a good journalist or actor.
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[25 Oct 2007|06:13pm] |
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things change so quickly...things flash before ur eyes and then its gone...its sooo weird
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[10 Oct 2007|09:29pm] |
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can we discuss how much i hate laundry....n im in the basement and heard a cricket and thought paul was here using his phone to make the noise...ps i stupid..lol
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[10 Oct 2007|03:43pm] |
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so many things in the last few days some absolutely amazing and some horrible...but overall this last week has been good....lots of drinky drinkin...hehe loves my drinks
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[21 Sep 2007|04:34am] |
Your silence screeches a deafening scream,
As a vigorous noise tells me nothing.
Your echoing voice breaks my nerve,
Though your timid tone builds my courage.
An ironic anomaly my ears do sense
Confuses, yet intrigues my sound perception
im drunk havent posted in a while so i decided to...god i love ME!
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[27 Aug 2007|06:06pm] |
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can i just say parking at towson sucks....if over 70percent of the student population commutes wouldnt u think they would have done something to better accomodate us since we are paying like 300 bucks for parking stickers!
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| Sullen Whisper |
[02 Jun 2007|02:45am] |
This sullen whisper,
Diffused amongst life
Disturbs the ripple
Of existence, shouted.
That forgotten being,
Morose from life,
Becomes an optimist
Of a death, relived.
Those sullen voices
Forgotten and diffused
Must be revived existence
To confirm death, no longer.
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[27 May 2007|10:18pm] |
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finally all the grades came in, 3.8 for the semester! yay now i get to relax n take a break from econ theory whoo
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[22 May 2007|02:28am] |
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sooo finally done, and all moved in to the appt. 3 grades back so far, all a's yay me!
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[22 May 2007|02:20am] |
A conning grin bites my lips
For my words are seized within.
This geyser of pressure gnaws to withhold;
Thus, it must surrender to release.
Vomit, moreover bile threatens to escape
Hence, this mouth, scorned
Nevertheless, remains vile.
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| finals |
[16 May 2007|09:17pm] |
macro theory and banking exams are done....they were hard as shit...both of them 12 pages of essay questions, god i hate college, and econ...booo y is this my major again...had to be different...110 out of the 24,000 kids at towson. whooo, no wonder y the ratio is sooo small the shit is hard, but i think i did ok... dont know if i can do this again in grad school, so thinkin about takin the lsats...n doin some contracts and legal stuff, econ goes well with that right? w/e anything to keep me away from using 1st derivatives to maximize household utility using indifference curves subject to budget constraints. i will go insane if that becomes my life o wait it is...boooo....ive been studyin all week i havent seen ne of my friends in the longest time i cant wait till this is over so i can get drunk off my ass and have a hangover and not have to worry about a test or hw the next day, i cant wait for summer, it will be great.
me n james r getting a bar. he has an extra bit of money so we're gonna get one, YESSSSSS i'll really be an alchy...he's so facilitating my drinking habits and i love it, hes great!
cant wait to see gel tooo...she's home and im done on tuesday so me and her will be hanging out ooo and ill be able to see lauren who wont be far away ne more, just a half hour! whoo hoo
so tuesday wont come soon enough
macro test gone
money n banking test gone
bio test tomara
french exam tomara
history of econ monday...soo 2/5 of the way done wish me luck! pray i dont snap before then!
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[01 May 2007|02:09am] |
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so, i think im gonna do it! although he will be mad...but sometimes u gotta think about urself and ur bf cause those are the obligations that should come 1st in my oppinion
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| Statically Capricious |
[17 Apr 2007|02:44am] |
How un-common,
This capricious creature
Fondles, moreso molests
This static structure.
Certain, un-changed
Remains this mutable monster,
Though terminally disturbed
Becomes this constant content.
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| ahhh |
[12 Apr 2007|10:54pm] |
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i actually think im bi polar...thats all
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[11 Apr 2007|03:52am] |
Lytic Sex
Affectionately attaching,
I am here to stay.
Adoringly penetrating,
I embrace my dear’s heart.
We grow as one: mutually
Till, I reach that sudden peak.
Bursting into a joyful death,
I become more able;
Thus,
Leaving him unknowingly weaker
I am able to change his fate
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| awake |
[10 Apr 2007|02:49am] |
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i so should be studyin but im not, just laying here watchin mtv's undressed...i so missed this show! dunno y its on...i need to be alseep cause i have a lab at the crack od dawn...meh
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| sring break |
[15 Mar 2007|02:19pm] |
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today was my last day of classes n i didnt go!....key west cannot come quick enough....beach, sun, week off from work...i can't wait, though i feel so quilty for gettin away o well
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| my homo theory |
[02 Feb 2007|03:07pm] |
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u take a random sample of homos...w/ decent looks....combine that w/ dance music and vodka...and the net result is sperm all over the room...for some reason gays including lesbians, will find someone near the same attractiveness level they are themselves and hookup w/ them at a party or gathering when alcohol and gay music starts to play....i think vodka and gay dance music is a catalyst for this chain reaction of gays going from overly dramatic to having sex.
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| econ |
[29 Jan 2007|11:34pm] |
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wow, so im actually econ major...i have 3 upper levels this semester....i mean ive had 1 pluss like 6 lower levels but, i cant believe im doin this....who knew that Mr. G-con would touch me the way he did....to influence my life beyond his ap econ class...but im lovin it!!....hillary is running..i love her, shes gonna have my babies...btw history of econ thought is so boring...this one guy fell asleep the 1st day..so sad..our text is called "neoclassical economic thought from dead old men" yes thats what i have to look forward to.
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[11 Jan 2007|02:54pm] |
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The idea of religion hurts me. It’s hypocrisy. An institution to promote good deeds and acts to achieve bliss in the afterlife actually does the opposite. The religious crusades, holy war, the crucifixion of Christ, burning/stoning of homosexuals and heretics do not sound like good deeds to me. These people pride themselves of being so holy and close to God, and it makes me sick. Man can be so intelligent and so incredibly stupid. I don’t think that by going to church and praising God, learning about forgiveness, then later that day cutting your child of from you because he/ she is gay or causing a scene at a restaurant because your waiter brought you a coke and not the diet coke like you asked makes you closer to God. And it makes me laugh that how some of the most beautiful, caring, forgiving people in the world are not religious. People need to understand that just because you go to church and say “thank you Jesus” it will not bring you closer to God or heaven. Religion to me is something men have created to direct and teach their youth about the unknown and to instill fear in them so that they will do what is socially moral. I have always doubted the bible and other books of its nature. Why should I base my life around scriptures that ignorant monks wrote, who basically had the mental capacity of the modern day 10 year-old. Not only that but all these books have been translated from language to language and we all know when that happens the meanings of important words are lost. Diction is everything. But anyways these people take these stories of the bible to be there life and I laugh because majority of the people who read these scriptures are idiots and have no idea what they are reading. Then they take what they want from the scriptures and basically mold it into whatever they want. There are basically 40 million different forms of Christianity if this earth. So religion in my opinion is stupid because people are stupid and do not know how to interpret things as they should.
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| happiness |
[01 Jan 2007|11:30pm] |
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Happiness has never existed. Happiness is an idea, a platonic ideal we strive to acquire; however, no one ever does. For those lucky few who may think they are experiencing this façade of the mind, or this chemical imbalance, it lasts only for a split second. Some may experience this brief chemical imbalance, and then soon after they are back where they started, miserable and dissatisfied. No human can ever be content. We desire something or someone, we get it, and then we no longer want it: human nature. Why do we even look for happiness? It is not there to have. We are meant to depressed, bitter, and angry. To me that’s the meaning of life, as a human. And I believe it’s very interesting how each person deals with these things. The way one deals with one’s depression, bitterness, and anger determines successful they will become. I only wish that others would understand that happiness is only an impossible idea, and embrace that fact that we are all meant to be miserable in one way or another, and embrace the idea that if we all dealt with our misery in a positive manor we would all be a lot more positive and optimistic, which is the closest thing a human can come to being happy.
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[20 Dec 2006|11:31pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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cant stand the mom, so im stayin w/ sean for winter break...should be amazingly fun
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| psych lab |
[30 Nov 2006|04:20pm] |
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mood |
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 scared for my life |
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im sittin in the psych lab w. james, bored....but i have nothing else to do, i should be studyin for my test tomara, but im not.....i did for like 2 hours earlier....so i think im entitled to a break.....my price theory test yesterday was god awful.....he based most of the test off of his text book, not the required book.....n he said he was goin to do the opp. so i just studied the general concepts of his point n not the whole thing, so i think im screwd....well not really screwd but thats the only class i was attempting n A this semester, n now i may not get it which is a little upsetting....
im supposed to be goin to AF for work today, yes i still am employed there....its unforunate, cause olive branch is kicking my ass....i had 13 consecutive shifts, and it seriously drained me....i have to days off this week n i feel so refreshed already....customer service is by far the hardest thing ever when ur pay is based off of tips aka...satisfying the customer....i seriously hate ppls now....especiially blk ppls.....i know im going to hell for my rascism but i dont care!!!.....they need to learn how not to be so ghetto n tip...the majority of blk ppls not all....blks like myself and kris r cool..all the others can face some type of genocide!!!!!...hahaha im the next hitler....but not for jews for blacks...n im black like he was part jew...lol
god this semester needs to be over....n i need to find somewhere to live for break cause i refuse to go home! my mom is such a whore its redic!....i saw her once for thanxgiving break n we fought.....this meeting was litterally a five minute meeting....ud think after not seeing me for at least 6 months she'd be like hey how r u, hows school but no...she yells at me for getting something to drink out of the fridge.....what a bitch....so i put the juice back n just left no bye or ne thing.....but w/e then she calls me n is like im leave my xmas wish list on ur voicemail...bitch u can kiss my ass!!!!
james is such a J!!!!!!!! its crazy just go with the flow.......dont plan its evil!!! oookkk god!!! thats fine! that was me talkin to him....he has to plan everything he's psycho! well he plans that we leave the lab now so i guess ima go with the flow n do so tooo...im dating a psycho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[26 Nov 2006|01:14pm] |
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im a desperate housewife.....
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[28 Sep 2006|12:48am] |
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Breaking away from its natural niche
It descends to the depths of its original state.
Its fertile life long has passed
As its decaying existence births a new.
Each darken blister speaks a tail
Tales yet forgotten, moreover not heard.
The knowledge forgone, the wise not learned
Maintains our transience, our ignorance reborn.
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